Max: 41. Expected: 27. Who's Counting?

Me.

So I had originally begun a post about "Enjoying the Waiting." Going to the mom blogs and posts from about 30 weeks onward showed a growing core of anxious moms eager to get these little buns out of the oven. I felt no such eagerness.

As I would reply when people asked: "Oh no, I am not so uncomfortable that I have forgotten that there is a forever baby on the other end of this. Who I am excited to meet. But not just yet."

And then I did two things:

Close Approximation of Actual Photo

First - I went camping at 35 weeks pregnant. I know. I know. Who does that? But it's been a long tradition in my family to camp every summer at Suttle Lake in the Deschuttes National Forest - camping pregnant, with infants, no matter what for the dedicated core. Speaking to this dedication is a fabulous photo of my younger sister running around in her birthday suit and sitting on her training potty under a tree (a Douglas Fir if I recall correctly). Priceless.



I slept on a camper bed courtesy of my Aunt's tent trailer with only two pillows (left side only if you want to breathe thank you very much). I waddled, I mean walked, to the toilet (hole) at least once a night by flashlight or moonlight. I went hiking and swimming despite a growing baseline of breathlessness. Uncomfortable. But not entirely unpleasant. I also ate delicious food and enjoyed the excellent company of my sister, cousins, family and friends. And next year I dread look forward to carting a toddling 10 month old around the trails on her first Suttle Lake camping adventure - Tradition!(cue music from the Fiddler On the Roof.) Tradition!

Note that the Pacific Northwest (where I was before coming back to Chicago) was having record RAINFALL in June...

Second - I travelled back to Chicago. Where it has been hot as blazes. And I missed most of the heat wave, 100 degree + temperatures. As I was sitting in my dining room with my air conditioner on full blast, with a friend who was wearing a cardigan, and said, "God, I am so hot," and she looked at me with raised eyebrows I knew something was off. My body temperature mostly. 

And so the countdown has begun. Because summer heat isn't going anywhere between now and D(ue)-Day.

Naming Baby Davis

Adaline Patricia Pelster Davis

Approved List of Nicknames: Ada, Addie

First: Adaline ('ad\\'ə\'lîn) or for those who don't know their pronunciation symbols - "add" "uh" "line"). From the Old German, meaning "noble" or from the Hebrew Adah meaning "adorned".

I love the name Ada - it's a palindrome as explained by one of my favorite characters from The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver. Jon wanted something longer. Adaline was found.

Middle: Patricia is a family name with a lot of history.

On the maternal side, Patricia is the given name of Adaline's Great-Great-Grandma Pat a.k.a. Grandma Grumps. (It's not because she's grumpy, I swear). Tracing the line of oldest daughters along the maternal line: Patricia --> Cathy --> Michelle --> Kimberlee --> Adaline will be the fifth in a long living line of strong, and if I may say so, beautiful women.

On the paternal side, the name traces to both Adaline's Great-Grandma Patti (Jon's maternal side) as well as to her recently passed Great Aunt Pat from England (Jon's paternal side, sister to his Grandma Ivy).

Family Name: Pelster is my family name, connecting Adaline to her mother's paternal line including her no longer-living Grandpa Ted.

Family Name: Davis is her dad's name, connecting Adaline to the paternal lines through the Davis family.

A Reading List Review - Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child 
by Dr. Marc Weissbluth

The major premise of the book is:

Sleep begets more sleep. 
Less sleep begets less sleep.

If we do not hold sleep time as sacred as we hold feeding, diapering and play, then we will have children who suffer from a chronic lack of sleep...taking your child from this --->




to this:
<----


Dr. Weissbluth argues that much like adults who suffer from chronic fatigue, children who suffer from chronic fatigue experience loss of memory and concentration, short attention span, moodiness, and have difficulty attaining good sleep despite being overtired (being "wired").

While describing typical sleeping patterns for infants in his sleep study and pediatric practice (babies at such and such age sleep X hours on average, babies at...) Dr. Weissbluth identifies various developmental milestones infants reach - with the most important being in months 3-4, when babies begin to respond socially. 

Where Dr. Weissbluth rubs most against the "attachment" parent crowd is when he encourages you to utilize a "let cry" strategy to efficiently and effectively help develop healthy sleep habits once the child no longer requires nighttime wakings in order to be appropriately nourished. At this point, nighttime wakings become more about social stimulation and habit than about physical need. In fact, Dr. Weissbluth argues that to not establish nighttime sleeping at this point is to go against the baby's physical needs to create an overtired child (review above) instead of a happy child (see below): 

So if you want happy, well-rested baby (and parents), just remember what Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for Dads says: if [the let cry strategy] didn't work, no one would do it! 

Hello Third Trimester, Hello Cankles?

At my 24 week diabetes screening, where you have the pleasure of drinking orange cool-aid

on steroids, on an empty stomach, they also do a variety of other screens. Not shockingly (given my poor blood donation history), I was identified as having low iron and prescribed a supplement. 

So at 25 weeks, after a 2.5 hour post-school nap, I picked up my iron tablets and headed home to down

one with a glass of OJ. And at 25 weeks and 2 days I noticed a marked improvement in my energy levels. Then at 25 weeks and 3 days, I scared myself in the shower as I was confronted by the elephantitis state of my right ankle. 

Maybe it's just a coincidence, but I am not a big believer in "coincidences." 

Now, with only 2 days between me and the THIRD-TRIMESTER, I can only wonder...Are my elephant friends here to stay - a permanent installation in the final march to motherhood? And perhaps more importantly: Will the sexy state of my cankles be admired by my Teach For America peers at the alumni cocktail next week?

Baby's Second Picture - 20 weeks

Modern technology has come a long way on the ultrasound front - going from picture quality that yields surprises like twins in the delivery room (or close to it) - to close ups that capture the individual finger bones as baby sucks her thumb in the womb. See the little curled pinky...

Yep - her - it's a girl. Can't you tell by the absence of a tri-pod? The two little white pieces are her butt bones. You are looking at her toosh!

And so with the improvements to technology the debate (and betting pool) opens now: Is that the Villars chin? The Pelster nose? With a head that size she must be as smart as her ... parents :)

Going "Live" Online - The Facebook Reveal

Perhaps other people today find nothing strange about sharing something so intimate and personal as the expected arrival of your first child via its current fruit size in the highly impersonal and decentralized space of "online" - but Jon and I actively postponed the sharing of Baby Davis online and on social networking sites like Facebook in particular. Part of our resistance to share in the online forum was born of a desire to share directly and personally the news of our baby's pending arrival. Given distance and the rush of our normal lives, this took a very long time: from the marathon calls to very close friends and family at the 10 week mark, to a second round of calls in the early second trimester, to the final detail work and ultimately e-mail announcements as the pregnancy became more and more of a reality.

In contrast, our mothers - or the soon-to-be-grandmothers - of Baby Davis were incredibly eager to share the news on Facebook and threatened to mutiny (lovingly and jokingly) at the 20 week mark. At a certain point, your pregnancy magically crosses the barrier from private to public. For me that shift happened at the 19 week mark - when my first "stranger" asked me if I was expecting. And at that point - the secret, private, personal pregnancy is over; the public face of your pregnancy begins - complete with the freely offered opinions and advice on what a pregnant woman ought to be doing ("you shouldn't be out in this weather") or not doing ("you can't eat that") or comments about your overall appearance ("gosh you look small, are you gaining enough weight?" or the alternative "gosh you look huge!").

Might as well take the good with the good-intentioned by welcoming the well-wishes of your friends (and your friends friends, and...).

And so at "negative" 16 weeks - we announced the expected arrival of Adaline.

From the album:Mobile Uploads

By Jon Davis

Meet Adaline! She is -16 weeks old! Oh and by the way, we are having a baby!!!!

How much will it cost to raise Baby Davis the first year and beyond?

With Jon and I juggling some major life changes (Jon will be leaving his job to pursue a graduate degree) in addition to the arrival of our sweet Baby Davis, it's difficult to project life too far in to the future - especially the money part.

And if you look at some of the baby calculators, they can be scary. Estimates start at about $10,000 for the first year. Life-time estimates for an urban, mid-western family making less than $58,000/year who DO NOT plan to pay for college comes in at $161,670 (the fist year of this estimate is broken down in the pie chart below).

We definitely plan to pay for college - which raises it to a total of $270,842 (which still assumes only $109,172 for private college tuition and expenses - this seems to be a bit of a contrast with UChicago, our alma mater, costing a little more than $200,000 for four years in 2011 and rising).

Baby's First Year you'll spend: $8,650

Childcare & Education $2,080

Misc. $470

Now those of you who know us know that we are eternal optimists. So we are hoping that it will cost a whole lot less than $10,000...

And we have a few natural or built in advantages:

1) Jon's parents will be providing full-time childcare for the first year!

2) We will NOT be moving to a bigger apartment - at least not for the first year. Instead we have split our gigantic bedroom into a combined parent room/nursery.

But here are some of the things that we aren't saving on:

1) I will be taking the full 12 weeks of my FMLA time. 1 week full pay, 5 weeks 60% pay, 6 weeks no pay.

2) Jon's income will be falling to less than half of his pre-baby/pre-graduate school income. (And at this point, we might be borrowing that "less than half his pre-baby/pre-graduate school income" income.)

At this point, a mild panic begins to set in. And so I look around for some kinder break downs. The Baby Center has an amazing cost calculator that really lets you see where the costs for baby's first year are coming from - for ongoing expenses and one-time purchases.

Based on my responses (see below), I get back a much nicer total: $4,857 (not including health insurance premiums, lost income for myself or Jon, or college savings). I will keep you posted on how our first year actuals go.

Ongoing Costs

Childcare
	I won't be paying for regular childcare.
	Help me estimate. I'll use a:
	Daycare center Home daycare Nanny	High: $1,221 per monthModerate: $768 per monthLow: $316 per month	x months
	I know exactly. I'll spend: $ per month x months
	I'll use an occasional babysitter: $ per month x 12 months

Diapering

I'll be using disposable diapers: $72 per month a cloth diaper service: $76 per month cloth diapers I wash myself: $19 per month x 12 months

Wipes $ per month x 12 months

Feeding
	I plan to breastfeed: $0 per month
	Formula: I'll spend $ per month x months
	Solid foods: I'll spend $ per month x months

Clothing
	I'll probably spend $ per month x 12 months
Savings for College
	I'll try to save $ per month x 12 months
Medicine/First Aid
	I'll probably spend $ per month x 12 months
Toiletries
	I'll probably spend $ per month x 12 months
Toys/Books/Media
	I'll probably spend $ per month x 12 months

Subtotal of Ongoing Costs: $4,332

One-Time Costs

Gear $0
	item (typical price range)	estimated cost
	Infant car seat ($60 - $150)	$
	Convertible car seat ($80 - $300)	$
	Basic stroller ($70 - $900)	$
	Double stroller ($100 - $300)	$
	"Snap-on" stroller frame ($40 - $90)	$
	Jogging stroller ($100 - $300)	$
	Play yard ($59 - $150)	$
	Baby backpack ($40 - $300)	$
	Front carrier ($25 - $120)	$
	Sling or wrap carrier ($29 - $60)	$
	Diaper bag ($25 - $200)	$
Activity Equipment $0
	item (typical price range)	estimated cost
	Swing ($85 - $120)	$
	Bouncer/bouncy seat ($30 - $70)	$
	Activity center ($70 - $80)	$
	Play mat/gym ($25 - $80)	$
	Doorway jumper ($30 - $40)	$
Nursery $0
	item (typical price range)	estimated cost
	Crib ($120 - $850)	$
	Changing table ($80 - $250)	$
	Glider or rocker ($189 - $600)	$
	Bassinet ($50 - $260)	$
	Co-sleeper ($130 - $200)	$
	Hamper ($20 - $60)	$
	Basic bedding and blankets	$
	Coordinated crib bedding set ($50 - $600)	$
	Mobile ($20 - $55)	$
	Dresser ($80 - $500)	$
	Lamp ($24 - $70)	$
	Decorations	$
	Crib mattress ($60 - $140)	$
	Baby monitor ($40 - $60)	$
Feeding $0
	item (typical price range)	estimated cost
	Bottles and nipples	$
	Highchair ($60 - $250)	$
	Utensils	$
	Plates and bowls	$
	Cups and sippy cups	$
	Burp cloths (6)	$
	Bottle brush (2)	$
	Bibs (10)	$
Breastfeeding $323
	item (typical price range)	estimated cost
	Electric breast pump ($150 - $350)	$
	Manual breast pump	$
	Milk storage bags, breast pads, extra breast shields, ice packs	$
	Nursing bras (3)	$
	Nursing pillow ($24 - $44)	$
Bathing/Grooming $0
	item (typical price range)	estimated cost
	Baby towel with hood (2)	$
	Infant bathtub	$
	Tub for older baby	$
	Baby washcloths (5)	$
	Brush and comb	$
	Baby nail clippers	$
Other $202
	item (typical price range)	estimated cost
	Childproofing supplies	$
	Safety gates (2)	$
	Diaper pail	$
	Diaper pail refills (16)	$
	Pacifiers (6)	$
	Humidifier ($29 - $69)	$
	Birth announcements (50)	$
	Baby book or scrapbook ($12 - $40)	$
	Photo printing costs	$
	Miscellaneous	$